


Do You Ever Think Of Staying Underwater?

by Glitchinthedark



Series: THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY WHUMPTOBER 2020 [13]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Abusive Reginald Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Drowning, Gen, Hurt, Pre-Canon, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Suicide, Whump, prompt, tua - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26996614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitchinthedark/pseuds/Glitchinthedark
Summary: Giving up on a struggle is the ultimate release. A floating numbness, a stillness in the endless cycle of time
Series: THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY WHUMPTOBER 2020 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949950
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Do You Ever Think Of Staying Underwater?

Torture was often a result of failed training, a way of pressuring the children to work harder, push themselves to new limits they may not even be capable of. He expected perfection and to retrieve such results he had specific devices. One form of pain was the tank. A deep chasm filled to the brim with near freezing water. If any of the children failed a task, which was often, this was one of the fates they may be endured to suffer for their punishment. Pushed into the depths as their only means of escape were shut off, leaving them to drown, to suffer and beg until they were released. This time, it was Diego’s turn.

\---8---  
It seemed each time he was pushed into the tank, the world got colder. The water, the view of his life, it all became bleaker as he was forced into the solitude. What if he didn’t fight? If he just stayed underwater, fully submitting to the euphoric starvation of air in his lungs. Diego was always number two, in missions, training even life. Always pitted against his sibling’s time after time. He had had enough. He knew he could never be normal, but for once all he wanted was to be good enough for his father. He could not show weakness, not now. 

\---7---  
The emptiness was cold, bleak and hopeless. He had not done anything wrong. He curved four of the knives perfectly, the fifth missing the miniscule target by two millimetres. He might as well have struck his father directly in the face. “There is no room for imperfection in the face of an enemy.” It was a phrase he was no stranger to hearing, but it never made it any easier to admit failure. “This is why you will never be more than Number Two.” Punishments ranged vastly each day, but the water tank was always the worst. Suffering followed by humiliation and begging to the man he hated to be freed. Losing all authority and control was his biggest fear. 

\---6---  
Lost in the dark, floating in the weight of the seemingly endless body of water. Time was just a setback, whether it had been seconds or minutes was inconsequential. It was meant to hurt, cause pain and suffering; that way they wouldn’t fail next time. They had all been subject to this type suffering. All but Luther and Vanya. Luther was too good to be put here, to suffer for not being good enough, that’s why he was number one. Vanya on the other hand, she never had to train, to endure the suffering we had to embrace. All she did was play violin, drowning in music while they drowned in reality. 

\---5---  
Time became lost here. It was an abyss, only at least with an abyss, there is at least a hope you would reach the bottom. He was never truly at the bottom, each time he sank deeper than previously thought, as if an infinite depth was his sealed fate. What if he stayed underwater? Let himself drift in the endless sea finally able to find a sense of peace. Would he even be allowed? It was always a consideration in the back of his mind, an escape. Perhaps if he tried, didn’t show weakness and silently faded away, Reginald wouldn’t stop him.

\---4---  
In some ways, it felt as if he didn’t need to breathe. That his body could survive without the presence of oxygen in his lungs. This was not a theory he was willing to test. If he could for even a second have the ability to hold his breath indefinitely, the ways Reginald would use it against him would be near deadly. His testing was ruthless. Diego remembered the times he heard Ben scream in the deepest sections of the house, the rooms the children were strictly forbidden from entering. They all knew he was tested on, twisted against his own capabilities by the monsters inside of him, it was a miracle he was still alive to this day. He wouldn’t give in to what Reginald expected. He wouldn’t show weakness or beg to be freed. If he stayed indefinitely in the icy waters, it would be better than the hell he would endure when he left. 

\---3---  
Breathe in, breathe out. A simple part of life so natural we forget we do it. Yet, inhaling becomes a lot harder when under water pressure. As Diego opened his mouth, the cold rush of liquid quickly hit his throat, instantly bringing his hands to his neck in some form of helpless defence. The last bubbles of air rose to the closed surface of the tank, floating fluidly through the dimmed shafts of light coming through the roof. Coughing. Choking. Any form of a gasp to attempt to regain the lost air was futile. The water was cold, but quickly morphed into fire in Diego’s lungs as he fought against his desperate body. He could not show weakness; he wouldn’t. 

\---2---  
Everyone describes drowning as euphoric, the way you slowly lose air as your head rushes into a bliss. It is a lie. There is no blissful euphoria, no calming release, instead a burning scream etching into your lungs. Every ounce of your body is on fire, screaming, gasping for air as you choke on the water entering your lungs. Was it worth it?  
It was never rare for the siblings to be resuscitated, no care about their health or psyche, they should have tried harder. At least that is all Reginald cared about. He remembered Allison’s first drowning punishment in the tank. They were seven, she refused to overpower her brothers to hurt each other, thinking she could find a way to get out of being the catalyst in the pain they would all eventually endure. Allison, so young and caring, lost a part of herself that day. To go through such trauma at such a young age is malicious and cruel, yet it was administered upon them all. 

\---1---  
Diego was trying to keep the signs of his drowning from view but when your body is actively working against your mind, there is only so much that you can do. The water’s acidic clutches on his lungs was fading, numbing his airways as the world started to fall. There was little light in the tank as it was, but instead of a nightmarish threat, the darkness became inviting. A slow warmth. Giving up on the struggle is the ultimate release. A floating numbness, a stillness in the endless cycle of time

\--------STOP--------

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man this is a sad one! A lot is implied and the ending wether he lives, dies etc is up to the readers interpretation! Also he has a slight feeling he can hold his breath indefinitely (like in the comics) but he doesn't want anybody to know.
> 
> Fic title quote:
> 
> One Second - Annisokay


End file.
